I looked around and noticed that he was looking at me. I tried to pretend that I did not see him; I increased the volume of my speaker and absorbed myself into this Indian song that drives me crazy.
Tu cheez badi hai mast mast
Main cheez badi hoon mast
There is that feeling that you experience when someone looks at you from the rear mirror. Oh my God, I felt so special in a minute and so weird in the next. I can say that it is not unusual to find men staring at you especially in Mombasa but there was something about the way he stared. It made me feel a kind of way.
I gathered my guts, looked him directly on the eyes and told him, “What is your problem?” He smiled like the exaggerated reflection of a concave mirror, his smile reminded me of someone I knew just from my childhood pictures, someone who had been there for me and we were then separated, his smile reminded me of my untouched dreams, his smile played a tune in my heart that only Romeo and Juliet could understand.
“Tayseer, remember? “
I was speechless. If I knew earlier that life did have seasons, I would have chosen to have summer throughout my life.
Moral of the story:
Most at times, we get attached to people and we say and tell the world that they mean everything to us. We even write stories about them and hang their pictures on the wall. We tell artists to draw sculptures of them and tell musicians to sing in praise of their character and personality.
We drown in love. But what happens when these people’s purpose in our lives comes to a halt? What happens when you wake up on one sunny day and you feel that the sun is not your father and the earth is not your mother anymore? What happens in our minds during that time of healing when people that we loved drifted away from us?
Love is not always intimacy. Love could represent that friend that you could do anything for, that sibling, that neighbor, that orphan child, that relative. And we find that when we love, we go out of our way to make those that we love happy, to make them feel appreciated and to make them see who we are in the lens that we want to wear. We find that when we love, the calla lilies and the dandelions all go out and sprout rejoicing in our happiness and what is love without happiness?
But they say, people come in our lives for a season and a reason. There are some people that won’t survive spring, there are others that will be there until the next autumn leaves drop from the trees, there are those that will not survive winter and there are those that will be with you for all the seasons, all the tides, seeing you carry your own weather day in and day out.
There are people that you establish a unique bond with and the bond that you thought was infinite ends up being as fragile as a strand of rain. Such bonds make you question all the pinkie promises you made, all the laughter and secrets you shared thinking that you have them held firmly in somebody else’s heart like a treasure from the mines of Egypt.
There are then those people who just come to give you information and insight about yourself. They come, and hurt you so bad that your whole body feels like it has undergone a knitting process. Your heart gets bruised and stitches won’t work and you begin fighting with your demons to see the morning in a new light. These people come to teach you lessons and to teach you the importance of staying attentive and lowering your expectations. Unfortunately, they do not wear devil wings or come with horns that will enable you to differentiate them from the angels, they come with bags filled with laughter, masks and unpredictability and once their motive is achieved, they leave you hungry, hungry for smiles and rainbows. Will you be able to open up again? Will you be able to open up after you have vomited all your sense and dreams to the enemy that shoots you while she smiles?
But all these people, the tsunamis and the small waves on the surface of water, they are all vitally essential in shaping who you are. Learn to look at things on a broader perspective and remove any ill feelings you have for anyone. They were nothing but part of you, a part of you that made you stronger, more enthusiastic and more passionate about others. I fall in love with everyone that sends good vibes and rain and books and aromatic lamps to my end, what about you?