Photo courtesy: Unknown
Sometimes I look back and say, “Thank you Allah for if it were not for you, I would not have been able to pass through all that mud”
To people from humble beginnings, you can relate to this. At one point in your life, you were just a nobody that people threw dirt on, that people treated with contempt, that people ignored and manipulated.
It was deep. Those were deep wounds that when you sometimes have a flash back on, tears are forced to just automatically come out. You felt like an outcast at some point, you were an insignificant species.
But the power of Allah, the power of God, the grace that He embraces us with, that is the most essential part of our existence and I cannot fail to agree that when you know God, you know peace and when there is no God, there can never be peace.
And karma is real, right? Have you ever taken a look at all those people that wanted to see you fall? Have you ever taken a look at all those people that wanted you in pieces, couldn’t wait to hear you dead, couldn’t just stand to see you up there, crowned like a princess? The funny part is again, karma is a bitch and one that recurs unbelievably.
One lesson that life has taught me is that when you are good, good comes back to you. It may not come now, but it will eventually knock your door. And right now, when I glance back, I see all those shattered pieces of me reunite to form a new actuality. It’s like, all dead leaves are eventually being pushed aside and all I can do is stare up above, and say a soft prayer because time and again, He has proved to me that He is an answering Almighty and I prostrate to a hearing God.
Your promises have been real and I could never do without you.
You have seen me through my darkest nights. You have seen me through when my own left me in shards. You have seen me through all my tears and while I earnestly kept my believe in You, all you promised was for me to stand up after each fall as You said in the Holy Quran, “And those that rely on Allah, they are the successful ones”
I am currently overwhelmed. A flash of memories are flooding my mind and I…I am speechless.
When they stumbled upon my heart like it was a rag to walk on, when they thought I was too good and I could take their scorns, when they betrayed me and used me for their own selfish interests, when they, oh God, when they tried to kill even the only left portion of my heart, when…Oh my, their list is endless.
And what is left now is a heart that lives but has lost the expectations of the likes of the so-called human beings. It is a lost heart but one that is still breathing for the community, one that is living for the only thing that still gives me a 1001 reasons to smile, a heart that lives for the less blessed, a heart that has befriended the ones that are less appreciated by people, a heart that is only for the world, that is the left portion of me and as long as I live, I will never let this piece die, In Shaa Allah.
Another flash back.
At some point again, I questioned myself. Maybe I am not good hearted. But when I went out to the bucolic areas, I heard another story. I would hear the old call out even when their wires went loose, the likes of Late Danny and Philamena would always say, “Salma, may God bless you”. Again, at an orphanage somewhere, children would come running when they see me and those are what I still live for, what told me that ‘No, I could never be bad’. Not when I had the love of the most self-effacing of people.
Good people will give you excuses when you don’t explain yourself. They will forgive you and move on. And this is hilarious, like sometimes good people can expose their own enemies to opportunities that they can apply for without even having an inch of pain, because they feel that the only way they can be better, they can be different from their enemies is by killing them with kindness.
At your worst, good people will always lift you up. They are not self-centered. They know that we are all human beings and our races are different but our endpoint is all the same. Tell me what? Success, yes, we all want success at the end of the day! But should your success make you a villain in someone else’s story? Do you think God can see you fail to appreciate others and still push you up? Since He is the most Merciful, He can do that, 100% but for the good hearts, it’s a different case because Allah has a way of always granting them their wishes.
And sometimes people wonder why the existence of the good souls is not important. This is because they don’t make you work hard for the attention that they offer you. They accept the love they think they have earned and that is it! But this people, one big problem is the moment they give up; they don’t even turn back to see which door they used.
To everyone that was exterminated for being good, be good still. The peacock will always dance whichever the season. You are good, remain good but… Be careful on who you still lean on, don’t let anyone walk on you from today onwards. Let people know that our skies can also go gray, let people know that we also have a saturation point, let people know that in as much as we can exist as a minor in their lives, our sunshine doesn’t allow the darkness to take over either.
To my best friends, my well-wishers and RENS Books Club (my small family), you are loved and thank you for being a part of my life…